A little something about time..

Updated: Mar 22

I don't know what i'm sitting down to write, right now.


I just know that I need to.


I have so many words, so many feelings and so many stories to share with you - so many that I feel overwhelmed. I feel stuck on where to begin. I don't know what I want to say first or where I feel compelled to start. I feel that so many things need me to be prioritising them and i'm failing to prioritise any.. I don't know what i'm doing at all, I just know that writing is the answer - it's been the only answer i've ever really known.


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It's just gone 9pm and the only lights on in our living room are the soft warm fairy lights woven through our wine rack; the rain is loud outside, comforting me somehow, while I sit here hoping that as I type these words will form together to create something of substance, or at the very least some sense..


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Time.


Time is something on my mind.


I've been feeling anxious about time recently.


I feel like there are so many things to do and simply not enough available time to do them.


But there's little truth in that.. really.


We choose how we spend our time. We decide what is a priority to us. And as a result, there's never really much weight behind the argument 'there wasn't/isn't enough time,' because there always is - if you choose to use it.


And I guess that's more what i'm getting at.


Recently I've not been using my time well, if at all.


I have so many pieces of writing within me that i'm desperate to share with you all, but I just haven't prioritised sitting down and materialising the posts.


I have so much need for my yoga practice, and yet I haven't stepped onto my mat. My life feels empty in ways I never imagined it would now that yoga has fallen to the sideline, and yet I don't take action to change it.


Now that i'm back working full-time I feel time slipping away. I worry that I don't have the opportunity to fulfil myself or honour my calling now such a large chunk of my day is occupied. But that's not the case. There are different types of energy; different ways to feel motivated, and I can still achieve all the things I want to, should I so desire.


Time has also been playing on my mind as I celebrate my half-year anniversary with my partner. We've probably had one of the most eventful first 6-months of a relationship in history.. and it's been the most amazing, connective experience that I would not trade for the world. But time now feels scarce in comparison - instead of being together 24/7, literally for 3 months straight (with no other contact) to going back to working different schedules, I'm worried about what I'm framing as 'lacking.' But time is not lacking between us. We make time for each other, every single day, and it's probably the one area of my life where I don't waste time. It is utilised entirely.


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There are always so many ways to beat ourselves up about how we spend our time - or rather fail to. And we so often forget to be human with ourselves; to feel compassion and kindness for ourselves in the way we would if we were speaking to a friend.


We're in no race, here. Time is not going anywhere any faster than it ordinarily does. So if on some days, all you can manage is slouching in front of the TV and doing sweet FA, then that's ok. Just don't let that become a routine.


And remember that time dictates a lot of things for us, but it will never be able to dictate how we use it.


If there's something you want to achieve, chances are, the time is there for you to utilise and work towards that goal, that intention, you feel.


The real issue has never really been time; it's been motivation. And the only person who holds any accountability when it comes to motivation is you. We can't expect your partner to do it; or your friends; your family can't help and your work colleagues won't be much use. We only have ourselves.


And there's something incredibly empowering to that.


You are not a slave to time. You are not plodding along through your life powerless. Hell to the fkn no. You can literally make a decision this very second, and notice a direct change immediately. We aren't static creatures. We are beautiful, inventive, inspired, able people who can literally change the direction or the course of their life at the drop of a hat.


You don't have anything holding you back. So harness that - feel that power that lives within you and begin to think about how you're going to use your time to serve yourself. And it doesn't mean every minute of everyday by any stretch of the imagination - it may simply mean that 2 nights out of 5 you don't sit in front of the TV.


You know what you need. You know that there are steps you can take to get there. So allow yourself to feel excited at the opportunities laid about before you - you have a voice. you have a body. you have a mind that is more powerful than you give it credit for. and you have yourself.


Remove your energy away from feelings of frustration for what you are yet to achieve. And instead shift your mindset to feeling grateful - grateful for time for giving us the opportunities we do have to turn our lives around, to make meaningful changes, to use our voice, to connect with new people, to learn new things and deepen our awareness.


Time holds a wealth of opportunity and achievement, we just have to be strong enough to pursue them.


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This is your time. Release the past. Focus on the future. Harness your potential.


Timing is everything.

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