Updated: Nov 1, 2020
Once upon a time I was still finding the courage to unapologetically be myself, whilst begging someone who treated me like shit to love me. I didn't make the most of a wonderful city whilst I lived there; I didn't wake up smiling. And it took two long years of falling in love with myself & recognising my worth to realise the truth that there were greater things out there for me.
The places you find yourself & the people you journey with should make you feel safe, loved and enough.
Our greatest source of magic is found in the connections we create, manifest and attract into our lives.
We are beings of infinite potential that fall into limiting patterns of love & relating with other spaces, beings and sources of energy because we're afraid to believe in ourselves. But we must, at all costs, preserve, protect and nurture our connections, especially with this higher power that exists on a vibrational level guiding us towards our greatest peace & the deepest of loves.
When we settle for mediocre places and people, what we're really doing is shrinking ourselves down into spaces that do not allow for the real magic of all that we are to shine. Our hearts must always be our guiding force because having the courage to be vulnerable and to walk away from those things not meant for us will open doors of opportunity for us to flourish and to find ourselves; the real versions of ourselves.
If we choose today to make just one decision differently, we can transform our lives - not only what they look like but how we feel within them.
I believe that we make the decisions we do because of fate, and that divine timing intervenes purposefully. I believe that, without being aware of it, we are driven to decisions and to feeling certain emotions at particular times because we're on a plan to realising our truth and to stepping into what we always deserved.
Our lives would become unrecognisable if we made a multitude of different decisions, but we made decisions and found ourselves in situations that brought us to this very moment - and this moment is where we were always supposed to find ourselves. So we can only celebrate every life experience we've gone through because we know that each moment has come together to help us to create the life that was meant for us, and reconnect with the power we possess to design the future as we choose.
We can choose to set our sights on whatever goals we want - to shed light on the thoughts we give life to and consciously withdraw our focus away from thoughts & feelings that cause us pain. The goal is to keep finding ourselves every single day & to fall in love again and again with the different layers of our existence; to thank the universe for all that this life is giving you. Embrace the long journey as we learn to control our minds and use them instead to our own advantage.
It's a blessing to learn that when we forgive ourselves and surrender into our practices, we unlock the little parts of ourselves we were only but strangers to before.
Teetering on the edge of discovery, we must shut down our minds & instead look towards our souls.
Pull yourself away from the people and the places that keep your wings clipped, and your sparkle dulled. It can feel addictive, and a fear can set in that you'll never find anything better. But I can assure you that there are greater things out there.
You will know if a place or a person is right for you. You will feel it, and you won't ever have to doubt or wonder. So if you are, trust that intuition. Believe in the wisdom your soul carries and take the risk of leaving.
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Leaving my life behind in England was the single best decision I've ever made, and I did it purely for myself. Something in my soul knew that it was time for me to leave behind the life I had built, the relationship I had fought too long for, a life that didn't align.
Choosing ourselves is something that sounds like the most difficult thing in the world until the moment we do it and we realise that it's the most wonderful, liberating, BEAUTIFUL moment - and it's defining. There's a clear 'before' and 'after' that follows making a decision for yourself; for your peace of mind and for your life.
My wings were clipped in England - there was a glass ceiling I would never have been able to break through for the simple reason that it isn't the place for me. I felt an undeniable and explainable pull to leave, and when I feel things like that I know I have to honour them because there's a reason for that feeling. I would never have been able to continue living that life once those feelings arose, and I know that so many people I've spoken to feel those pulls, they feel themselves being drawn to something new, but are so afraid of leaving relationships or places they know, or plans they had for the future, that they keep themselves down. It's your responsibility to explode into yourself, not shrink below the thresholds!
I know that we all have to travel our journeys and reach our various milestones in our own time - someone telling you to do something is simply wasted breath because none of us do anything that we don't ourselves want to do. So if any of this resonates with you, I hope that you begin taking steps in your own life to reach a point where that undeniability of what is meant for you, the greater things waiting for you, becomes so strong that you must give in to what your heart and soul desires.
Don't be afraid to let go. If you're not happy, and the situation you now find yourself in doesn't add up to create the life you want for yourself, then you owe it to yourself to leave. To leave behind that relationship, that job, that city, that country - give yourself a chance to fly. It will always be there if you change your mind, you can always return to a place, but you can't get back time that you've lost once it's passed.
You really do only get one life. You can't tell me, or more importantly yourself, that you want to stay stuck somewhere that causes you to cry or to feel like you're not enough. There's a HUGE world out there (and whilst I appreciate COVID's shrunk it slightly), there is still life to be lived. You still have the opportunity to literally design what your life looks like, you're not bound to anything. Not a partner who you've been with for years, not your parents or your friends, not a boss you feel loyal to or a city you've always called home. You must find the courage to put yourself first and do what is right for you - and I know that if you do, you will be amazed at what the universe gives back to you.
I don't know if many people know how petrified I was when I left. I wondered if I was making the wrong decision a billion times over, throwing away a life i'd worked at for the best part of 3 years. I was leaving behind a business, a relationship, my family, the country i'd always called home for the most part.
A month after arriving in New Zealand I met the love of my life. And honestly, hand on heart, I have never known happiness like this. I've had the last 8 months of my life totally enriched with love, genuine, soulful love; to be with someone who aligns with me in all the ways -values, reciprocity, how they love, what they want for themselves, the work they'll put in to achieve it, a sense of adventure & a depth of consciousness. I now live in a city that inspires me and that I adore, overwhelmed with an abundance of adventure, natural connections and the kind of energy I need to fuel myself and keep myself balanced. I've entered into two jobs that I never thought I would, and I've been recognised and appreciated, whilst also starting to invest in my soul work again too.
I never thought that any of this would happen when I left England. But it did. And I just can't stress enough how badly I want you to know that if any part of you wonders if there is greater out there for you, if you're not 100% sure in yourself that this was the life you were meant to lead, then please, please, please walk away from it. There are better things out there and you deserve to live that reality every single day.
Spread your wings, allow them to take you to far off places and to meet far off faces. This is your life - it's calling to you. Don't worry about where you're going, just let the wind take you to where you are supposed to be.